64px:

ceeberoni:

64px:

my dad just called me phil for literally no reason

how do you phil about it

im philled with rage. also fuck y;ou

thisblogisnotgovernmentapproved:

Nancy Jo? This is Alexis Neiers calling. I’m calling to let you know how disapp.. Fuck. Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story. How horrible you shit on me- (YOU LIED!) Would you stop? (YOU FUCKING LIED!) STOP IT! Stop it, mom. (YOU LIED!) STOP! GOD DAMNIT! Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story. There’s many things that I read in here that were false. Like you saying that I wore six inch Louboutin heels to court with my tweed skirt, when I wore four inch little brown bebe shoes. (TWENTY NINE DOLLARS!) EVERY TIME YOU FUCKING YELL I HAVE TO RERECORD IT!

coconutoil97:

communistbakery:

sniffing:

explaining your grades to your parents

TOO TRUE THOUGH

PLEASE

goopypaltrow:

chadleymacguff:

chromatacia:
Guy on Tinder: I never thought I'd meet someone like you on tinder. I would love to take you out sometime, treat you the way you deserve to be treated. What do you say, doll?
Me: ...chill.

i accidentally got 4 concert tickets for ariana grande at san jose coz my dumbass didnt look hard enough for cheaper ones so now i need to get rid of 2 other ones omg

vinebox:

grandpa Watchn Nicki Minaj Anaconda